What is Tolerance?

I want to tell you exactly what’s going on with me while being as vague as possible.

It’s a bit of a challenge but I’m up for it if you are. Let’s Go!

So … There’s a swimming pool in my imagination…

And something happened to me today that made me realize something very important.

When I go for a swim, I like to start by doing a big bomb in the deep-end.

I like that the reflective serenity is interrupted by an explosion of water force and bubbles.

Ka-Boom! “World … Nigel Is Now Having A Swim!” That’s just how I roll.

I don’t check to see how cold it is. I don’t circle the pool waiting for the moment that feels right, or psyching myself up that I can do it. I don’t stand on the first step and wait for my ankles to acclimatize before taking the next step to my knees.

I drop my towel, rip my shirt off, get a big run-up, sail through the air, and start my swim in the only fashion I know how – by jumping in the deep end.

Is it the only way to get in? No. Is it the right way to do it? No.

It’s my way.

Having gone for many swims in my life it’s the way I have found that suits me best.

If it’s freezing cold I’ll jump back out and be dry while ‘opposite-me’ is still figuring out which toe to dip.

If it’s too shallow, I might bounce off the bottom and graze a knee, but I shall tell people about my bruise proudly.

(And don’t tell me you should check the depth before jumping in … this pool is just a metaphor in my imagination remember.)

So to give it real-world perspective…

I wanted to go swimming with a new friend – and they are a toe-dipper.

I didn’t realize till half way through my run up – and by then it was too late!

When I surfaced – all I saw was that my super-cool and fantastic bomb had drenched them while they were still fully clothed.

Ooops!

So can a Deep End Jumper and a Toe Dipper successfully swim together?

Let me introduce you to a pool-side life guard I shall call Tolerance.

Tolerance Definition

Tolerance is to be able to appreciate the perspective of another. To stand in their shoes and see the world the way they do – and try to understand and accept why they may act a certain way.

Tolerance is not to ‘put-up with something’ – it is to appreciate the individual nature and journey of another person.

I am comfortable with my choice – as they should be with theirs.

Should I dilly and dally by the poolside and wait for the dipper to umm and err before I have my swim?

Or should the dipper not see my anxious desires and speed up their ritualistic toe dipping practice?

To be true to ourselves – the answer to both should be ‘no’.

The secret is for me to jump and them to dip – without projecting our desires onto the other as normal expected behavior.

This is the only way we can exist in harmony.

But that’s in theory…

In practice can a jumper and a dipper successfully swim together?

I will let you know when I find out. But till then, Bombs Away!

In Love and Light, We Explore!
Nigel Coates

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